Ex footballer and love rat Dwight Yorke has thankfully been keeping a very low profile of late, although it’s looking like he’s now back to his ‘best’ and ready to get back out on the pull.

It’s been a while since Yorke has graced the tabloids with his rather ugly mug, although after completing the London Marathon last weekend he decided to treat himself to a big night out in the capital.

Yorke was spotted sneaking out of a London club and into a cab with uber-plastic The Only Way is Essex cast member Chloe Simms- showing that he’s not ready to give up his love for surgically-enhanced bimbos just yet.

When I opened the NOTW on Sunday to be greeted by the sight of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson’s her nose, I’m not going to lie- I was seriously shocked.

TPT had a long documented battle with cocaine a few years ago, and is said to have shoved up to £400 worth of the white stuff a day up her nostrils- so the state of her nose shouldn’t really be too much of a surprise.

TPT did have her nose reconstructed, although it seems that something has gone seriously wrong.

It’s now looking very unlikely that she’ll be able to sort it out before the Royal Wedding, so if I was her I’d keep well away from the photographer!!

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m sick and tired of hearing about the UK and US X Factor judging panels and who and who’s not going to be sitting on it.

It’s been dragging on for months now and doesn’t seem like it’ll be ending any time soon, and I don’t know how much longer it’ll be before I make a promise to myself that I won’t even bother to watch it.

Don’t get me wrong, you can’t beat a bit of X Factor on a Saturday night, but all of this over the top hype is seriously going to start putting a dampener on things!

The insufferable Alex Reid recently found it necessary to pose bare chested on the front of a tacky gossip mag- which pretty much proves that he has no intention of pissing back off into the obscurity he came from any time soon.

Reid, who allegedly refuses to dish the dirt on Price (probably because he can’t afford to risk the legal implications), is definitely one of the most pointless ‘celebs’ in the UK, and he’s becoming more and more insignificant with each passing day.

And if anyone was interested, he put paid to claims that he was shown the door for failing to come up with the goods when he stated:

“I am not shooting blanks, OK? The doctor said it was OK. I’m super healthy.”

Thanks for that Alex!

Like The Hills and Jersey Shore, The Only Way Is Essex (or TOWIE for want of a shorter title) is one of those so-called ‘reality’ TV shows where you just can’t tell how much is real and how much is fake.

So it’s pretty obvious whose nails, tans and boobs are a lot less than natural, but I just can’t make out how much is acting and how much isn’t.

There have been reports in the red tops saying it’s all a massive set up, and that producers tell the cast exactly what to say, although to be fair it’s my ultimate guilty pleasure and I couldn’t really care less if it was all complete fiction!