When it comes to people who have zero shame, there are few people more shameless than the vile Katie Price aka Jordan.

For some bizarre reason, this leathery cretin seems to think that the public actually still like her, and recently announced that she’s releasing a dance-inspired single called ‘Free To Love Again’.

This is possibly the most cringe-worthy news of the year so far- Price is a woman who makes a strangled cat sound tuneful- demonstrated previously by her awful cheesy efforts with ex hubby Pete and her laughable attempt at representing the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Don’t even get me started on the awful new cosmetic surgery she’s blatantly had done recently either…

Jessica Simpson seems to have transformed from svelte blonde bombshell into something resembling a frumpy middle-aged housewife over recent months.

In the past, Jessica has been a lads mag favourite due to her amazing looks and enviable figure, although it seems as though she’s been seriously overdoing it on the pies lately, if recent pics of her of anything to go by.

Jessica claims to be happy with her fuller figure, although it seems as though she hasn’t yet mastered the art of dressing for her new shape, and she’s been seen out and about in ill-fitting tops and trousers that really don’t do her any justice.

Sort it out Jess- you’re starting to ruin the dreams of millions of red-blooded males!

Now, there are many celebrities who really do get on my nerves with their shameless attention seeking, but at least most of them have at least a little talent.

Pointless celebrities, who are famous for being drunk, high or just generally a mess 24/7, are the worst kind of money-grabbing cretins going- and there are few worse than Kerry Katona.

So she’s lost a couple of pounds, renting a new mansion down south and got herself a new (borrowed) wardrobe..why does she think that anybody actually cares?!

Apparently, camera crews have been filming Kerry for a new ‘reality’ TV series- and we all know what her previous shows have been like!

Car crash television at its best- and it couldn’t happen to a nicer woman…ahem!

With England having put in a couple of painstakingly poor performances in the World Cup so far (allegedly- as what do I know about football), it’s times like these when you start to really miss the WAGs.

Let face it, nobody is going to get any form of decent entertainment out of an England football match, and you can always trust these perfectly- preened beauties to put in a good performance.

Whether they’re out for a meal at a posh restaurant or dancing on tables in a cheesy bar- this girls show the rest of the world just how we do it’s really done England!

Although it’s not as though we would have been graced with Cheryl Cole’s presence this year, there was always Posh, Coleen and Co to bring some much needed glamour to the beautiful game.

Fabio Capello has a lot to answer for- and I don’t mean on the pitch!!

News reached my ears today that serial shagger Jack Tweed has been dumped by WAG-wannabe Chanelle Hayes.

Chanelle- who is heavily pregnant by some footballer who did a runner the minute she announced her happy news- gave Jack the heave-ho after tiring of his womanising ways.

Apparently, the final straw came last week when photos of Jack leaving a London club with some identikit blonde appeared…YAWN!

I am genuinely sad that the pair have parted ways though, as it now means that they’re likely to inflict their vile behaviour on others. If ever there was a match made in heaven- this was it.

Lock up your sons…and daughters.. as these two fame whores aren’t about to take any prisoners!

Not a day goes by without the ugly mug, aka plastic fantastic Jordan, being splashed across the papers. And 99.99999% of the time, it’s for extremely negative things.

Recently, it seems that Old Leather Skin Katie is under the impression that her daughter, Princess, is some sort of doll.

In the space of 2 weeks, the Pricey has caused controversy by posting pictures on Facebook of the child in full make up, complete with false eyelashes, and now photos have emerged of Princess with straightened hair.

It’s one thing letting your child play dress up, but it’s another thing altogether when you’re posting photos on the internet for every wierdo to see.

Is there nothing that this tangoed trollop won’t do for a bit of cheap publicity in the Daily Star?! Team Pete all the way!!!

Many brave women have tried, and many brave women have subsequently failed in trying to get Simon Cowell to commit to them. Well, that is until now…

The rumour mill has been in full swing with gossip that stunning make up artist Mezghan Hussainy has finally managed to get commitment phobe Simon to make an honest woman of her.

Mezghan has been seen flaunting what looks suspiciously like an engagement ring, and gossips have been whispering that the pair will soon be making an announcement that they’re going to tie the knot.

Insiders have allegedly said that turning 50 made Mr Cowell take a serious look at his life, and it’s even been suggested that he’s ready to have kids!!

Whilst the thought of loads of miniature Simon Cowells running about is quite a scary one, at least the future is looking bright for one X Factor judge- in stark contrast to Cheryl Cole’s future which may well involve a divorce……….

Is it just me that is sick and tired of seeing that wrinkly old bird that used to be in Eastenders on the front of all the weekly mags?

This complete no-mark, otherwise known as Hannah Waterman has been in pretty much every magazine bleating about her ‘amazing’ weight loss and how happy she is being a size 6.

Apart from the fact that this ‘miracle’ weight loss has made her look about 20 years older- nobody actually cares! This minger wasn’t attractive before, and certainly isn’t attractive now.

With her saggy wrinkly skin, and cigarette firmly in hand she really is one deluded Z-lister!! Bore off- now!!

Over the past few weeks, not one single day has gone by without John Terry’s ‘alleged’ transgressions being splashed all over the papers.

Day after day, more and more allegations have started to surface, and his wife Toni must have been absolutely traumatised. Well, that’s what you would have thought!!

But oh no, Toni flies off for a ‘peaceful’ foreign holiday- only to flaunt herself in her bikini at every available opportunity. Didn’t look like a woman in turmoil to me!!

However, the icing on the cake was when dear old John flew out to join her for Valentines Day and Toni seemed to have all but forgiven him!! A couple of days later they arrived back in the UK hand in hand.

Seriously, has this pathetic woman got no respect whatsoever?!! This woman must have some serious self esteem issues- either that or she just can’t bear the though of giving up her champagne and Louboutin lifestyle- silly cow!!

I can’t tell you how shocked I was when I read that Vernon Kay has been sending saucy texts to a glamour model!

He’s married to Tess Daly, so why would he even feel the need to do this? Yes, she is annoying but he chose to marry the woman. Seriously, why do some men think that they can have their cake and eat it!!

Risking your marriage (and not to mention your reputation) for a 2 bit ‘glamour’ girl is just plain stupid. And to send messages over Twitter is just stupid beyond belief!!

Slapped wrist for you Vern- something tells me a serious ear bashing is well on its way to you!!!